Why Lupita Nyong'o Detailed Her “Pain and Heartbreak” After Selema Masekela Split

Lupita Nyong'o is grateful for the healing that comes from community. 

When the Black Panther star's relationship with Selema Masekela came to an end last fall, Lupita chose to share the news of her breakup publicly. Now she's revealing why she first decided to do so—and why she's so grateful she did. 

"In my mind, when I shared my relationship status with the world, it was because I felt sure about it," Lupita told Net-a-Porter in an interview published Feb. 26. So when her relationship came to an end, she added, "I was living in a lot of pain and heartbreak. I looked at the environment of my social media and thought, I don't want to be a part of this illusion that everything is always coming up roses. Surely there is a lesson for me to learn in this, and I just want to be real about it."

And she felt immediate relief after posting her vulnerable message in October.

"I knew how it could be interpreted; I knew it would have a life of its own," the 40-year-old said. "But then I started to see the comments and people were being so loving and supportive. The ones that moved me the most were other people sharing their pain and their heartbreak."

But while she noted some of the best advice she's received is, "Our purpose in life is to love. And so you have to get back in it," Lupita also isn't looking to rush into something new—despite sparking romance rumors with Joshua Jackson at the end of 2023.

"I think what I've learned is, I've got to just face this thing that I'm going through," she explained. "I can't run away from it. And so I am not looking for its opposite right now."

Lupita and Selema were together for about one year before the Us actress wrote in October about "a love suddenly and devastatingly extinguished by deception."

"I am tempted to run into the shadows and hide, only to return to the light when I have regained my strength enough for me to say, 'Whatever, my life is better this way,'" she continued her Instagram statement. "But I am reminded that the magnitude of the pain I am feeling is equal to the measure of my capacity for love. And so, I am choosing to face the pain, cultivating the courage to meet my life exactly as it is, and trusting that this too shall pass."

For more of Lupita from over the years, keep reading. 

Lupita nails the 2019 MET Gala "Camp" theme in custom Versace inspired by John Walter's legendary drag queen, Divine.

The actress poses with grace and elegance in this wine-colored gown.

The Black Panther actress carries the drama off-screen in this bold and beautiful Dior dress.

The budding horror queen wears a Balmain-studded transparent blazer-dress at the New York premiere of Us.

Lupita beams in a Prabal Gurung patterned dress and a yellow cashmere coat by Mansur Gavriel outside Good Morning America.

The actress looks hauntingly beautiful at the London screening of Us wearing an Attico sequined tartan wrap dress and red contacts. 

The Oscar-winner is seen in a Prabal Gurung's sweater dress and a vibrant red Mackage overcoat outside The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.

The actress is serving a Grace Jones-esque, other-worldly look in a Honayada white cut-out suit at the SXSW Premiere of Jordan Peele's sophomore film Us at SXSW.

Lupita Nyong'o was light as a feather as she attended the 2019 Vanity Fair Oscars party wearing this Oscar de la Renta one-shoulder gown.

The Kenyan-Mexican actress donned a golden power suit-inspired dress by Chanel as she partied ahead of the Oscars.

The 36-year-old star was pretty in pink while attending a pre-Oscars bash with Vanity Fair and Lancome. 

Nyong'o sparkled in this saucy Balmain striped frock as she carried a diamond-crusted leopard Judith Leiber clutch.

The Us actress gave major boss-vibes in this Versace gold puffer jacket.

Lupita wears a custom Vera Wang ensemble, pairing a structured blazer with a sheer jeweled skirt. She completes the look with feathered braids. 

Black Panther's Lupita stuns on the red carpet in a Calvin Klein dress. This shining star never ceases to amaze us!

Lupita pays homage to the Roaring Twenties in a fringed Tom Ford gown and teardrop earrings.

For the Versace Fall 2019 fashion show, the Black Panther star goes bold and bright with a T-shirt, cardigan, skirt and heels of the same pop art-inspired print.

The actress dons the popular power suit, but opts for an all-white look with silver shoes to stand out.

The actress was fierce in a glamorous see-though Prada number, paired with a brown bodycon dress.

Lupita's shimmering, floor-sweeping Prada gown was a fashion highlight at the Cannes Film Festival.

The actress stuns in this timeless Giorgio Armani gown embellished with sparkling jewels and plunging neckline. 

Lupita shows off a little skin in a gorgeous Dior Haute Couture gown.

It's definitely not every day you see someone wearing a dress covered in bananas, but Lupita makes the Prada dress look timeless.

The Black Panther star wore a show-stopping purple Atelier Versace dress with an embellished bodice for the world premiere of Black Panther. 

This black, flowy Elie Saab dress embodies elegance and power as the actress attended the EE BAFTAs.

The actress looks strikingly similar to the Oscar Statuette in a golden Atelier Versace for the 90th Annual Academy Awards.

The Black Panther actress sauntered down the red carpet at the 2018 SAG Awards in a Ralph and Russo gown.

The stunning actress turned heads in a glittering green Halpern dress at the premiere of Star Wars: The Last Jedi. 

This striped jumpsuit the actress wore while promoting Star Wars: The Force Awakens flatters her in every way. The vertical stripes elongate her legs while the horizontal ones give her more shape up top. 

The 12 Years a Slave star proved a simple satin dress will go far, especially when a few ruffle details flow down.